


The call within

by Lubamoon



Category: Jane Eyre (2011), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Badass Rey (Star Wars), Declarations Of Love, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Happy Ending, Inspired by Novel, Jakku, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Let's Go to the Movies - Reylo Readers & Writers Prompt Exchange, Memories, POV Rey (Star Wars), Possessive Kylo Ren, Reunions, Rey Needs A Hug, Slow Burn, Suffering, TIE accident, The Force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:55:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25869283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lubamoon/pseuds/Lubamoon
Summary: Based on the film "Jane Eyre" (2011) Directed by Cary FukunagaAbandoned in Jakku, Rey has one day the opportunity to leave her life as she knows it thanks to a fortuitous accident. But the search for her identity will also lead her to know love, a bond between her and the man she pulled out of that ship in the desert.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 15
Kudos: 8
Collections: Let's Go to the Movies - Reylo Readers & Writers Prompt Exchange





	1. Runaway

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eslian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eslian/gifts).



> Based on the film "Jane Eyre" (2011) Directed by Cary Fukunaga  
> The title of this fic belongs to one of the songs on the soundtrack of that film, composed by Dario Marianelli.
> 
> I had the pleasure of making my own version of the classic by Charlote Brontë in space, with some differences. The narration is in the first person, as in the book, and the temporal cuts are inspired by the film's dynamics. 
> 
> I hope you like it, I really enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Clarification: Rey doesn't know anyone in the Resistance, but she knows about Leia because of Ben. I will develop it in the next chapter. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and for the opportunity to collaborate with this precious exchange!

I stole one of the ships from the _Supremacy's_ hangar bay and set the coordinates almost without looking. I didn't think it through. In my mind there's only room now for a high-pitched, piercing scream.

«Get as far away from him as you can. »

I'm not proud of myself, but it's the only thing I could do. To stay would mean hurting him and I love him too much to cause him more pain than I've already caused by leaving. But he hasn't stopped me, perhaps because he knows that staying together in these circumstances will only bring hate and resentment.

I did it to protect myself; I did it as I have done everything up to now. I did it to survive.

Although I wonder what the point of living like this is, if at least I had a chance for half happiness, after having tasted the taste of love in return, even after feeling part of something else.

 _Someone_ else.

Why did I throw myself back into the arms of despair and loneliness, if he offered me everything I could ever dream of? Why did I escape from an arrangement that was so convenient for everyone, even knowing that I was betraying myself in addition to betraying him? Why is following the heart so difficult when the soul is leading me down another path?

I can't blame him for hiding something so serious, I can't blame myself for being so gullible. I can't blame anyone else but the Force. It brought us together, promised us peace when we are like day and night, showed us what we wanted to see, what we needed.

But it was all an illusion. And the worst part is that I can't stop thinking about him.

Why do I feel, in spite of everything, that our bond will never be broken even if I try to forget him?

For my sake, I must. I must go on. Create a substitute for the life I had before I met him. Start again somewhere else, until we are reunited, perhaps in another life.

But. Where am I going? I really don't care, I can't deal with that right now.

I resist the urge to give him any explanation, I think it was all said between us. But the bond between us is so strong that if I were to see him again or hear his voice, I would not think twice and run back to him.But this time I won't. It will be for the good of both of us.

I will close myself off from the Force, I don't know how, but I will. My time with him has been enough to learn that he was hiding things and I had to learn it the hard way. So if he can, so can I because we're the same.

_Two souls that are one._

As I try, I hear his voice calling to me but I summon up all my strength to ignore it. I feel his despair, it's a reflection of mine.

_Don't leave me, Rey._

«I can't stay. I can't stay. »

It's what my mind repeats over and over again as its anguish mixes with the sound of the ship's alarms, bringing me back to reality. I've disconnected the trackers, even though he promised not to pursue me. He expects me to repent and return to him of my own free will.

But that will not happen. Not as long as things don't change. Not as long as a war separates us.

The alarms tell me something's not right, and this time I'm not sure I can fix it. The damage seems to be critical. A warning that forces me to improvise in order to stay on course and stay alive. The ship is small, it barely has room for a co-pilot and there's no way it can survive in space without life support.

But it's instinct that guides me because my soul was left on the _Supremacy_ with Ben. It is my body that moves abruptly, it is the Force that surrounds me like a wrap; it is the part of me that holds me up despite the pain.

I let myself be carried away by these sensations as if in a nightmare, because everything revolves quickly around me in confused images that I cannot distinguish, and I move slowly, prey to some fever, an uneasiness that stuns my senses as if I find it hard to breathe.

In these last moments of consciousness I see a point in the immensity of space that's getting bigger and bigger, the planet that the Force has chosen as my destination. A place I've never been before and from which I don't know what to expect. From here it seems serene, suspended in the void of space, oblivious to my tribulations, oblivious to the violence of my situation.

That's where I'm going. That place is waiting for me.

«If I manage to survive.»

I hear the cabin door open violently and the impact of the icy air in the atmosphere forces me to close my eyes again. The pulse beats fiercely on the sides of my head causing me immense agony, I feel that everything could explode at any moment.

And when I thought that I could not resist any longer, at the limit point where every breath could be my last, everything stopped, everything went dark.

My last thought was for him.

I have no way of knowing how much time has passed, I'm awake now. Slowly I regain control over my body and I feel a stabbing pain in one leg, as if it were broken. Although considering the events I have just experienced, it is a minor damage. About the state of my mind, however, I cannot draw any conclusions.

I try to focus my eyes but I feel everything is blurry and I'm shaking uncontrollably. The planet that has received me has a hostile climate, almost as bad as the desert, but here it's not the sun but the cold wind that could kill me. Cold and Dark.

The fine material of my clothes is not suitable for this place and its freezing blasts. I'm back to where I started, in my scavenger suit, the only thing that's ever belonged to me.

Another kind of pain runs through me as I remember where I could be now and with whom, surrounded by warmth, instead of having to face this place that once again shows me that for me it is no longer possible to return because nothing will be as it was before.

How I miss the heat, the sand. I would never have imagined missing Jakku, but I do. Maybe it's the fever, I'm not thinking clearly. But what else can I do?

The ship - or what's left of it - has protected me from certain death during the fall. Or it was the Force. In my delirium I still think Ben is protecting me through the bond. But that's impossible, I repeat to myself. He's been left behind forever and there's no point in looking for explanations.

What remains is to continue. Where to?

I crawl out of the cabin as best I can; there is no way I can walk out of here because the ache is so strong that at times I lose consciousness again. I have to get help, some sign of life.

But there are no animals, no vegetation. Nothing can survive here. I make an effort to remember the galactic maps that Ben taught me, the places in the galaxy he wanted to show me. I take refuge in happier memories and I don't feel so cold anymore.

I could stay here and wait for this horrible place to finish me off.

«No.»

_Get up, Rey_

It's like I can hear him. I extend my fingers to him as I did that time, his face serene and waiting for me. But Ben is not here.

_Please._

«You've abandoned him, remember?»

The heavy snow has hidden the trace of my passage and the visibility is so reduced that I cannot see beyond my hands, everything is as dark as an eternal twilight. It's better this way, I don't know if I'm surrounded by friends or enemies. What role does the First Order play here? Will they see me as a threat?

At this point I'm encouraged to think of those kinds of things that I may never experience. I'll freeze to death in no time if I don't find shelter.

_Join me._

«Don't do this.»

I see lights in the distance, it's all so strange. Memories blend into reality; I feel that something drives me to continue because otherwise none of this will have been worthwhile. In the intervals when the wind stops whistling in my ears I hear ships landing, shouts and orders. The place seems to be inhabited after all, and in full swing.

A strong light blinds me, a woman's voice asks me who I am and asks for help to carry me but I cannot answer, the cold has immobilized my muscles and no sound comes out of my throat.

A pair of arms lifts me up as if I didn't weigh anything and my savior starts walking as fast as he can on the snow. Another woman, shorter than the first one, appears and asks for help through a comlink.

As I nearly pass out again, I hear her breathing hard and one of the women, I don't know which one, reassures me with words I can't wait to hear.

“You will be safe now.”

> _Once in Jakku, the storm they called X'us R'iia forced me to spend three and a half days locked up in my AT-AT, without food or water. A bad business strategy with Unkar. The wind was so strong that during all that time I was afraid that the roof would collapse letting in the sand. Time passed slowly while I waited, with no way to calculate exactly how many days were left, trying not to despair or lose hope._
> 
> _I thought of many things then, the things I would do when I got out, the treasures and dangers the storm would leave exposed. But I never doubted, I never stopped believing that I would get out of my walker in one piece to get on with my life. I had to, I had come a long way and that was enough to keep me sane. I wasn't trying to be brave. For what? I was alone, no one would rescue me and I wasn't expecting it._
> 
> _At times sleep overcame me, an uncomfortable and intermittent rest that did not bring me peace. The noises were constant and irritating, but I didn't let them upset me. I was safe there, on those metal walls._
> 
> _When it was over, I didn't feel much difference. Everything was back to normal, the dangers and the prospects. Nothing magical had happened, for me it just meant one day less work and worse conditions. I was surviving once more. No one was waiting for me outside._

The days that followed were not easy and I am not clear on what really happened. I heard voices and soft footsteps, fragments of conversations that meant nothing to me. In the intervals when I regained consciousness, I opened my eyes but my eyelids were heavy and I was still unable to pronounce words.

I knew that something was about to happen, but it was not easy to forget the situation that had led me there. Ben's face and his last words kept tormenting me. I think I said his name several times, even though I don't think I really did it. The delirium diminished little by little, as if the battle I was fighting inside me was more painful than the damage caused by the cold and the blows.

At least I was in good hands, my body was recovering in what I assumed was the med-bay of some station or ship. I heard sometimes the voice of the woman from before, and others that were slightly familiar. I couldn't use the Force to cure me because I thought it might give away my location with Ben and I wasn't sure what my hospitality benefactors would think.

Slowly I began to distinguish solid forms and clear words, the two women who had found me arguing with their backs to me, thinking I was still sleeping. For some reason the monitors didn't point out the anomaly until a few minutes later, which gave me some advantage.

“We should take her to D'Qar. The General will know what to do with her.”

That was a young woman in brown overalls and a tool belt talking. She had dark hair and her hair was tied back. I noticed her nervous as she played with something hanging from her neck, a chain with a medallion.

“I don't know, Rose. The Refnu scouts found the ship she arrived in. It belonged to the First Order. Leia doesn't know it yet, but it won't be long before she finds out.”

The young woman who was sceptical was slightly taller than the one called Rose, and from her appearance I assumed that she was a pilot because she was wearing a life-support vest and an aviatorfly cap.

“What do you think is gonna happen, Paige? The General wouldn't do anything without an interrogation, and that's not gonna happen until she wakes up. Besides, we don't know why she's here, maybe she was running away.”

“Or she could well be a spy...”

“I don't think so. The droids have checked that he's not wearing any kind of communication device. The ship had its trackers blocked and no one followed it to Refnu.”

“This is all very strange. Have you seen her clothes? Something doesn't fit...”

I couldn't see their faces from my position on the table but I didn't have to wait long. The monitor alarm seemed to come to life suddenly and they both turned at the same time to look at me. They were both very similar, and I could tell they were sisters by the identical gesture of curiosity on their faces.

I still didn't have the strength to run away, and I didn't want to either. I noticed that my right leg was covered by a bacta patch from knee to heel and it hurt quite a bit.

“Can you talk?”The girl I identified as Rose leaned over the stretcher a bit, apparently she wasn't afraid of me. “We want to help you, but you must tell us who you are.”

My voice sounded harsh but I could pronounce my name with strange clarity.

“Rey.”

“Do you remember what happened before we got here?”Paige, the other woman, was a little suspicious of me, but I couldn't blame her.

I nodded my head, but I couldn't reveal anything else.

“I have to hide. Please!”

Rose bit her lips and looked at Paige as she did so, as if trying to convince her mentally of something. The pilot rolled her eyes and took her word for it.

“Listen, Rey. We have to follow a protocol, but we're in the middle of a mission. We'll trust you, but you have to promise in return not to escape until we get you to General Organa.”

The mention of that name has shed a light of hope on me. I didn't know Leia but I knew who she was and what role she played, she would be the only one able to understand what was happening, I could trust her with my fears and the things I knew.

After all, she was his mother.

“I have nowhere to go.” And it was true. I couldn't go back to Jakku either and pretend nothing had happened. But in my mind an idea began to form. Maybe all was not lost.

Rose put a hand on my shoulder and at that moment I knew I really had nothing to fear. What was about to happen was a new opportunity to live, although it hurt my soul that my fortuitous decision would take me away from Ben forever.

“The Resistance will be your home now.”


	2. Lost

Being part of that new family aboard the Cobalt Hammer was much easier than I expected. The Resistance gathered followers from the most distant systems and in absolute discretion. Although I was afraid that they would distrust me, they had shown me by their actions that nothing would happen to me and that they did not consider me a threat. However, it is logical that they still had reservations and that the General had the deciding vote on my fate.

In addition to Paige and Rose Tico, the sisters who escaped from the Otomok system, there were three other crew members on the ship named Spennie, Finch and Nix Jerd, who had carried me to the medical wing at Refnu.

They didn't want to reveal much about the mission, but Rose explained to me that they were delivering supplies into the Atterra System, dodging the radar of the First Order to supply the ranks of the Resistance that had formed a temporary base in D'Qar.

When I was finally able to walk again, I offered to help them repair some parts that had been damaged by an old attack, as payment for their care and perhaps to gain their trust little by little.

I got along with Rose from the beginning because we both knew about mechanics and broken appliances. During those activities she explained to me that the First Order had invaded her home and devastated the resources of the planet, also enslaving many of its inhabitants.

I felt pretty bad about being part of all that destruction, although not directly because I wasn't aware of what they were doing. That's why I felt I had chosen the right path by walking away from Ben, even if my heart wasn't as easily convinced. I knew the goodness of his soul even though he had made many mistakes, but it was a pity that he did not understand things the same way and it was imperative for me to flee from that place.

I kept dreaming about Ben, a different kind of dream. But I had no illusions that he would call me because one of the first things I did when I left was to sever our connection, making sure that what I saw in my sleep were only memories of our time together and wishes that did not come true.

But even these hurt me more than a face-to-face confrontation with him.

Rose tried to find out more about my past and I felt it was only fair to tell her. She had rescued me along with her group and I still had to report to her General to defend my stay in the Resistance. I wanted to forget everything and start over, but for that I still needed a little more, a last goodbye to that past with Ben.

Of course, I was very afraid that my new family would reject me, but as they assimilated the information, I evaluated their reaction. I wanted to explain to her that I was no one special, a simple Jakku scavenger who had the misfortune of being sensitive to the Force and being involved in exceptional circumstances.

But for some reason I did not dare to confess that I almost became an Empress and she did not ask me about the nature of my relationship with the Supreme Leader, assuming that he was holding me prisoner. This was not entirely true and I knew it well, for I went with him of my own free will and in pursuit of the promise of a better life. I was never his captive and Ben told me this from day one when I set foot in the _Supremacy_.

I knew I could not lie to Leia and the impending encounter with her frightened me. I was placing too many expectations on her when I was not clear about what was happening to me myself. Why was I still worried about Ben when I had rejected him? How could I be sure that his mother still trusted to get him back and show him the way home?

I think I was driven by the desire to see him again, free from the chains of the First Order that were part of his essence but I refused to accept. I just wanted his soul to be at peace, even if I was not able to provide him with the calm and understanding he needed to return to the Light.

That's why he would tell his mother the truth. She would not turn her back on her son, even if I were to disappear from her life forever.

After hearing the story, Rose assured me that the Resistance would be happy to receive an ally like me. Everyone saw in General Organa a figure of maternal protection and I remember thinking with sadness that it was not so for her only son. My heart shrank with sorrow for him, but I went on. I became strong.

I was doing my best to survive in a new scenario but without feeling absolute belonging, because how could I share the cause of these people, even if they were the good ones, if I was attacking the person I wanted to save? How could I convince them that the violence had to end from both sides if I was also lying to them?

I was not blind to the crimes of one or the other, but I owed nothing to anyone. All my life I was alone until I met Ben and now I was lost, in the middle of a war that seemed so alien to me. Who was I to judge the Resistance for trying to save what they loved when I wanted to do the same?

The day we arrived in D'Qar, Leia welcomed me with much more understanding than I expected. Perhaps she saw in me much more than I thought and that helped me to be completely honest.

What follows is an exact account of what I told her that day, the narration of a series of events that brought me to the present circumstances, the story of the scavenger who fell in love with the fallen Prince.


	3. Rescue

I will try to be objective in the narration of my memories but I cannot assure you that they are not colored by the things I now know. My mind is still spinning from the accident as I adapt to this new life, as if the events I am about to relate now are already part of another existence.

Jakku is a dangerous planet and it is not only what is under the sand that can end your life if you are not careful. It's not for nothing that they call it a space graveyard. Years after the war against the Galactic Empire, it is still risky to travel through some areas and if it is not the deceptive geography, it is the cruelty of its scarce inhabitants that can hurt you or end your life.

I was a scavenger. I was looking for the remains of parts of ships from the Empire or the Resistance that could still be used to fix other ships, which would surely go through the same cycle as we scrap merchants: to go through this life to serve others and to die without anyone being too sorry.

I was alone. But against all odds, I survived.

I didn't know who my parents were then and I don't remember them even today. Nor did I ever know the real reason why they abandoned me. For years I waited for them to come back to me, thinking that they had not forgotten me. But now I know that they never cared much for me. There were people, however, who taught me what I needed to do to survive. Ivano Troade and Mashra were kind to me until I was old enough to stand on my own.

My life was hard, more so than my memories softened by distance can express, but I knew nothing else. Time passed as I filled the walls with hardwood, almost mechanically, so as not to lose track of the days. But I guess at some point I stopped.

The heat hardened my skin, the lack of food and water made me judgmental, distrustful and possessive. The pettiness and selfishness of my countrymen helped me to be shrewd and I learned to defend myself by fighting for what I got. Contemplating death up close, hundreds of times, made me compassionate towards others, even though favors were not always returned but as betrayals. In spite of everything, something inside me guided me, something that was always there, emotions that today have an explanation. Hope and Faith.

The days were a succession of suns and moons, storms, despair and loneliness, hunger and thirst. Until that day many standard months ago, no matter when exactly, the day a ship crashed near the Sinking fields in the Goazon Wasteland, and the Force wanted me to be the only person able to witness the phenomenon.

It was not strange that these accidents happened, all kinds of people came to Jakku, escaping to hide, attracted by the inhospitable. No one looked in the Western Extensions. The sand quickly hid the clues and the criminals could wander around without problems, if they survived to tell the tale.

I approached the ship with caution, although because of its condition I did not expect to find anyone alive. However, there was the only crew member, injured and unconscious, aboard the half-destroyed cabin of what I could no doubt recognize as a TIE Silencer, a superior model that I had never seen before.

I knew he belonged to the First Order but I could not yet call him an enemy. In Jakku, war was news that travelers brought, a distant tale repeated by word of mouth that affected us only in the number of portions that arrived. We had our own problems.

 _Stormtroopers_ visited the Niima Outpost with increasing frequency, but no one knew exactly what they wanted or what they were doing there. I owed nothing to them, nor to the Resistance. Time was busy forcing me to take a stand, but at that time I was fighting only for myself.

Enemy or friend, the man would soon die if I did not help him.

I put a hand on the side of his throat to check for a pulse and went over to his mouth to make sure he was still breathing. I tried to revive him, but he didn't respond. The ship had crashed over the moving fields and if I didn't hurry, the sand would swallow us both up.

Getting him to my home was the hardest part. The man was huge, almost as tall as a wookie I once saw coming down from a ship, but with black hair that reminded me of nights without stars and moons.

Her clothes were also dark and she was wearing a full body covering. I noticed that he was bleeding behind his head and I could see a helmet that seemed to have broken off with a heavy blow. Perhaps that was what saved his life, lessening the impact that would have been fatal for anyone else. I knew then that he was destined to survive.

His face was pale and elongated, the shadow of death making the contrast with his black clothes greater. The first thing I thought was that he would not last a single day in the desert without help and that his features were not those of someone used to forced labor. His skin seemed never to have received the warmth of any sun.

With great difficulty I tried to accommodate it on my slider but there was no room for both. The only thing I could think of was to place it on its side like a sack, securing it with straps so as not to lose it on the way. I was sorry to have to treat it so roughly, but it was either that or wait for the _fears to_ do their job. And I was sure that the strange pilot would thank me for the rescue one day.

When we got to my AT-AT I untied him and tried to pull him down without hitting him anymore, but then I had to drag him across the sand from my feet. I heard that he was starting to react, still lost in his nightmares, and that encouraged me a little.

Since I could not lift him, I prepared a makeshift bed on the floor and placed some blankets as a pillow. They were my most valuable belongings; I had found them a short time ago in a cave, not far from where the TIE had fallen.

He still didn't open his eyes, but he regained consciousness. I filled a bowl with water and gave it to him to drink. Luckily he didn't refuse it, but that meant I would have to get more, as the reserve canteen was almost empty.

At that moment, knowing that we were both safe, I allowed myself to hesitate. What was I risking my life and my water supply for? We weren't going to last long, the rations were barely enough for one and at some point I would have to leave him alone to go to work. I was lost that day and that meant that there would be no food until the next day.

I thought maybe by saving him I had condemned us both, what would happen when he woke up? I had noticed that he had a gun in his belt, but it was very strange and I had no idea how it worked. Anyway, I took it off and hid it, I couldn't risk it. I froze for a moment when he began to move, but I was reassured when he surrendered again to the delusion.

The weapon looked more like a cross-shaped hilt and a reddish crystal shone inside. I had heard about the lightsabers from a traveler who boasted of having met a Jedi, even after the great purge. No one had taken him seriously except me, but I was sure that what I had before me was something of a different nature.

I lit a lamp to see him better and wiped his face with a cloth moistened with the rest of the water I had left. Little by little the soot, blood and sand disappeared. There was also his wound in the back that would get infected if I didn't do something. At least the bleeding had stopped, the wound had closed and there was only a lump that was beginning to swell.

I cut strips from my own tunic to bandage his head and stop the swelling. It wasn't the most hygienic thing to do, but it was all I had. The next day I would check the remains of his ship for a first aid kit and hopefully some bacta, if other scavengers didn't discover it earlier or if the desert hadn't swallowed it.

I thought about the benefits that the exchange of their parts would bring, but something told me that nothing would go as planned.

Inside the walker it was not so hot but my host was sweating, probably because of the fever. I tried to carefully check the rest of his body for other injuries, but he was intact.

I don't know what kind of courage I had then, considering that I had never seen a soldier of the First Order so close. Although he didn't look like a soldier but rather someone superior, some kind of general, perhaps.

I stood back in terror. Something about that man made me afraid and sorry, but he also called out to me and I couldn't get away from him. I told myself it was his way of letting me know he needed my help, but now I know it was something more complicated than that.

Even knowing that he could hurt me, I saw him as helpless and vulnerable. I could have ended his life. Why didn't I?

But... why would I do that?


	4. Awakening

The first night was the worst of all. The fever rose again and the delirium made him writhe and scream, twitching violently as if his nightmares were real.

I could not leave him alone, nor did I understand what was happening to him or know how to alleviate his suffering. It was not an infection, something darker was afflicting him. I felt sorry for him, and even if I had known then who he was or the things he had done, I would not have refused him my help.

That night I felt something different inside me, something I had never experienced before. My desperation to help him was so great that I did something foolish and without knowing why. I put one of my hands on his forehead and concentrated on what he was feeling, on the pain I imagined he was feeling, and although he didn't wake up right away, at least I was able to calm his agony.

Now I'm sure I had just used the Force to heal him, but at the time it seemed like some kind of miracle.

After that I was exhausted and unable to help myself, I fell asleep with my back against the wall, dreaming very strange things that would have more to do with me than I thought. 

> _Fire everywhere, a destroyed village and traces of death. The smoke was choking me and I could hear some piercing screams. The eyes of someone who had just made the biggest mistake of his life, a pair of tortured blue eyes. A green light saber and then darkness._

I barely managed to fall into an intermittent but deep sleep, but I awoke startled by the noises he was beginning to make. His breathing had normalized and he was slowly moving his hands, trying to familiarize himself with the space to sit up.

There was confusion in his eyes, although that was to be expected. But I noticed other things too, which I then mistook for fear. I know now that he had come to Jakku looking for something else, guided by something I still don't understand today. And he had just found it, but he didn't know it yet, and I was very close to finding out.

I prepared to confront him, I didn't know how he was going to react. I had already taken off his gun and the cloak he was wearing, although there was nothing left but shreds because of the fire. I had also removed his boots, in case he tried to escape.

I don't know why I kept him there, perhaps I felt he owed me answers, as much as he needed his.

“Where...?” His question was interrupted by a coughing fit and I nodded to the bowl with the last of our water, debating whether to approach him or not. He took the bowl before I could move.

“Jakku” I answered him with all the calmness in the world, although my nerves betrayed me. “Your ship crashed near here.”

The stranger sat up and propped himself up on his elbows, bringing his gaze to the same height as mine. I was less than a meter away from him, squatting down and close to the entrance.

“You... Who are you?” He looked at me suspiciously but without fear, as if he still didn't quite believe I was real.

What kind of threat could someone like me be? I was tired from the previous day's exhausting journey, I hadn't eaten because I didn't manage to exchange any pieces for portions and I had given him the last drop of water I kept in reserve.

“I’m Rey” He stared at me, as if he was getting inside my head to corroborate my story. I thought it was a figment of my imagination, perhaps hunger. Weeks later he confessed to me that he had used the Force without hurting me.

He nodded and then stood up suddenly, as if the fever and the accident had not taken a toll on him.

My AT-AT seemed to shrink drastically in size as he stretched to his full height. Even while bewildered, his bearing was fierce, dangerous as a caged beast.

But I was not afraid of him.

I watched as he reached for the gun in his belt and then looked at me, demanding answers as to his whereabouts. When his bare feet touched the ground, still cold because the sun hadn't warmed the sand, he realized he wasn't wearing his boots either. But she found them on the side, half hidden among my things, and put them on.

I backed away instinctively; I didn't want to show fear. I stepped back to defend myself in case he tried to attack, because just because I had saved his life didn't mean he was grateful to me.

“Who are you?” I asked him.

He could have ignored me, he could have lied to me, but when he spoke, I knew he didn't.

“Ben.”

It was my turn to nod and stand up. I even held out a hand as a show of goodwill, but he just looked me up and down with an indecipherable gesture.

“A scavenger?”

I found his examination odious, but I didn't blame him. Perhaps the accident had loosened some screws, or politeness didn't exist where he came from.

“I must return immediately.”

Unbidden by me, he found his gun in the concealment and buckled it back into his belt. He walked past me taking a couple of strides and was soon out of the walker.

“Wait! You can't go back, the sinking fields....”

“I can manage on my own, don't bother scavenger. Thanks for your help.”

I wanted to tell him that even if he could get his ship back, it would be tricky to get it working again, not to mention the fact that he would have to get it out of the sand first.

But he was so insufferable that he turned his back on me and walked over to where my speeder was. His coldness only fueled the fury I was already feeling, perhaps because of an empty stomach and broken hopes, though I knew those feelings better than anyone.

Then something happened as I reached out my hand toward him as if to catch him. A flash of blue lightning, a scream and then Ben was on the ground, shocked and horrified by what had just happened.

I had knocked him down with the Force.

Of course I didn't understand the consequences yet.


	5. Proposal

It took me only a moment to recover from what had just happened, although coming to grips with it was another matter that would require much more processing time.

I felt an uncomfortable tingling in my body, but it was completely different from any electric shock I had ever experienced while rummaging through the wreckage of some forgotten ship. It was as if for a moment I had been able to control and modify the energy of everything around me. But it was not a pleasant feeling, quite the opposite. The inexplicable fear of letting Ben go had taken hold of me, awakening that power. Did his arrival have something to do with the phenomenon?

I didn't know at the time. But if he walked away, I would be left with no answers. I had to convince him to take me, or at least let me accompany him. Of course, I would never have resorted to violence unless he attacked me first. And it was a cowardly thing for me to do, since Ben had turned his back on me.

I ran towards him fearing the worst. It was a complete irony, to have prevented his death the previous evening only to end his life with my own hands. But my guest was fine, the shock had only thrown him away from the slider and the only damage was to his pride. I should have guessed then that he was not used to being beaten.

As I approached, he stood up without taking his eyes off me, but he didn’t look angry so much as surprised. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he came to feel a mixture of the two, but I sensed something else in his gaze.

_Recognition. Belonging._

“Did you just...?”

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't know what happened to me.” I interrupted him stammering, my body still shaking.

He brushed the sand off his clothes with a distracted gesture, as if he was thinking a hundred things at the same time. His mouth opened slightly but he couldn't manage to utter a word. I noticed that there was nothing left of his previous disinterest and now he saw me as an oddity. I had at least managed to get his attention, he would not suddenly leave.

I admit that I found his rudeness stimulating, it was obvious that he was not used to dealing with people of my type, he had underestimated me and I was not going to feel inferior to him. I even remember lifting my chin to reinforce my stance.

Ben didn't look intimidating to me, even though I didn't really know anything about him. Maybe I was seeing something in him that no one else was seeing, or I felt like believing he needed help.

As we stood closer and in broad daylight I could see that his eyes were clear and the color of the Corellian whiskey they served in Niima's canteen, his gaze so intense it could have pierced me. Luckily he no longer had that chilling pallor and the small marks on his face reminded me of the stars I sometimes stared at before dawn. Somehow his face looked familiar, even though I had never seen it before in my life.

“How come I didn't notice it before?” He made a grimace with his mouth that could have been a smile, but he didn't strike me as the kind of person who laughed often. Rather, it was an arrogant gesture. “A scavenger, powerful with the Force.”

“The Force?”

I had heard about her and the Jedi, but I thought they were myths and tales to evoke a glorious past, lost forever. That something like this was happening to me was unbelievable, but there was no other more adequate explanation. I decided to play along as my mind whirled with the information.

“Who are you really? What are you doing here?” He replied, moving a little closer but not daring to touch me. “Why didn't I feel your signature?”

“I don't know what you're talking about...” I tried not to back away but I felt exposed and I couldn't help looking away to hide my anguish because I didn't know the answers to the questions I asked myself in solitude every night. “I have lived here for as long as I can remember, this is as surprising to me as it is to you.”

Ben seemed to accept my uncertainty and did not insist with the interrogation, instead he adopted a different attitude and without ceasing to examine me, he placed a finger under my chin to force me to look him in the eye, without giving me time to resist, although I did not find it unpleasant either.

“Rey, that's your name isn't it?” He asked and I nodded, a little annoyed that I had almost forgotten it. “Help me back to my ship and I will teach you the ways of the Force. I will be your Master.”

His offer was tempting but I had many things to consider. He hadn't told me what he was doing there and what his intentions were. What was in it for him to share his knowledge with me? It could all be a trap and I had enough problems as it was.

However, something was pushing me towards him, I was curious about this question of the Force. For endless years, everything was the same on Jakku, maybe Ben was my ticket out of that horrendous planet. But it wasn't so simple to leave everything behind.

“You are in danger...” he softened his tone a little and for a moment I thought he was really trying to protect me. “Others will come looking for you and they won't ask as nicely as I did. You must come with me.”

Something triggered in my mind the image of a ship leaving the planet, the words of my parents promising to come back for me. I turned my face away from him and stepped back.

“I can't leave here.” The words came automatically out of my mouth.

“Why not? What's keeping you here? This place is a dump.” He growled and turned away, abandoning the ephemeral empathy to give way to anger. His emotions were changeable and as unpredictable as a sandstorm.

“I'm waiting for someone. My family, they said they'd come back for me.” I was still clinging to that possibility but now I know I was actually afraid to leave.

“I have the means to find anyone in the galaxy. You could live in better conditions than this.”

“I don't trust you.” I interrupted him. He seemed to hesitate for a few moments before answering.

“Then why did you save me? You recognize my ship and you know where I came from. Don't you know who I am?”

“I did what anyone would have done...” That wasn't quite true, if the teedos had found him before I did... I dare not think of that possibility now.

“You lie.” His cold, resentment-laden tone barely contained the anger. How much pain had he endured in his life to have to react like that? “You could have left me there to die. I've seen the doubts in your mind.”

“How did you...?”

“The Force. You have a lot to learn, scavenger.” He turned his back on me again and prepared to board the glider. “Are you coming?”

His arrogance was getting on my nerves again. Or maybe it was the prospect of having to be so close to him. Either way, he was going to listen to what I had to say.

“You may know a lot about these things, but you have no idea what living here entails. We have no food and no water, there's no way we'll survive long without it.” My stomach chose that exact moment to make its claim.

“Don't you have a spare canteen?” I bit my lips to keep from blurting out an insult, I had given him the last of what I had and used the rest to clean his wound. Ben guessed or heard my thoughts, and taking a hand to his head, he removed the remnants of the makeshift bandage he still had. “I see. You wasted it on me. Well, where can we get more?”

“There's an animal trough at Niima Outpost....” I stopped at her look of disgust. “Unkar owns all the vaporizers in the region, along with the portions we get in exchange for ship parts.”

“The portions you speak of, where do they come from? Who is this Unkar and why does he have all the power?” I shrugged my shoulders. That was the way things were there and no one had the power to change it. “Right.”

He fumbled in his pocket for a while and pulled out something I had seen a handful of times and recognized as a credit chip.

“That won't do, he doesn't trade credits, not even those of the First Order. He'll want something he can trade later.”

“Don't you have anything he's interested in? Some piece of junk you've got stashed away?”

“Well, I would have it right now if you hadn't come my way yesterday.” I was being unfair, but I couldn't help it. His judgmental know-it-all look made my hair stand on end and I wanted to punch him so badly. “Maybe we could offer him that.”- I pointed to his weapon clipped to his belt.

“No way. This stays with me. What's plan B?”

“We can negotiate with the Teedos, they know where to find water and they're not far away. I understand their language and they owe me a favor. But you must stay here, I don't know how they'll take it if a... I don't know how they will take someone like you showing up in their domain.” I still wasn't sure what his rank or role in the Order was, he could also be a traitor, I couldn't say for sure.

“I'm coming with you.” His stubbornness was making my head hurt but somehow it was reassuring to know that I could spend more time with him.

“Then you'll have to dress differently. You won't stand the heat in those dark clothes and you won't need your armor here.” Ben raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to complain but I stopped him. “I think I have something that might help.”

I went into my AT-AT and after some rummaging around, I found what I was looking for. In one of my forays I had found a backpack with men's clothes that belonged to a not so fortunate pilot, but they now served the purpose of dressing Ben. I handed them to him and at first I thought he was not going to accept the clothes of a dead man, but he said nothing.

He came out minutes later with his hair in a bun similar to mine and looked like a completely different person, someone who might have gone unnoticed on the streets of Niima had it not been for that piercing, sad look that I could never forget. I completed his outfit with a spare pair of glasses that I wore to protect myself from the sand. The final touch was to use the remnants of his cape to cover his head from the sun. We were ready.

I confess I was surprised at his resignation when minutes before he was so upset. I think he was slowly beginning to understand that he had to listen to me in order to survive there, at least until he managed to get his ship back. I had not made any promises to return with him, but I knew deep in my heart that I would not stay on Jakku, where I had no future.

When we boarded the speeder I had a feeling that I would never return home, but I dismissed it right away. I was used to not clinging to things or people, and this time I would let myself be carried away by the will of the Force. And Ben's.

But things wouldn't go the way I thought they would, of course.


	6. Negotiation

The ride in the speeder was more comfortable than I had imagined. So many years in solitude had accustomed me to silence, and my companion didn't seem very inclined to conversation. One part of me was trying to think long term, the other was concentrating on the journey along the Pilgrims' Road. What would happen to me after helping him with his ship? Would he keep his promise to take me with him? I confess I was being selfish and wanted to benefit from his misfortune, but that was my life and that was all I knew.

I felt his hands gripping my waist tightly but not hurting me, it was as if he was saving energy for later. I didn't underestimate him, not after the things he had revealed to me, but I worried about his survival as much as my own.

The Teedos had no fixed establishment in the Goazon Badlands, they came and went doing their work in the Starship Graveyard, riding their luggabeasts with their plaintive whines. I hoped to find one of them to negotiate with, I had not yet told Ben that I would probably lose part of his ship in the exchange if I could not convince them to return the favor.

It was early yet, the sun was not at its highest point but its heat was already so intense that it threatened to confuse my senses a little more than they already were. The wind was swirling in my ears and I felt the sand pounding despite wearing protection. I tried to keep my mind cool to think better, discarding doubts and concentrating on my goal. It was not worth explaining to my guest the kind of dangers that awaited us, later I could officiate as a guide, when we had in our possession the precious spoils of the water.

Finally we found a group of Teedos whipping a mount with shocks from their ionizing spears, apparently one of their luggabeasts was stuck in a small shifting field. I stopped the speeder at a safe distance and got off to help, speaking in their language so they wouldn't attack me.

Ben was following in my footsteps but I stopped him with a gesture and curiously he acquiesced, not before giving me a slightly condescending look and crossing his arms at his chest as if in disagreement but ready to see my performance. I didn't doubt my strength, that's how I had won the favor of the Teedos last time. Despite being half animal-half machine, luggabeasts obeyed better without torture.

Once I managed to free him, a Teedo approached and I explained what we were looking for there, demanding that he share with us his water reserves or tell us where we could get a portable moisture vaporizer.

As I had suspected, it wasn't going to be that easy. The Teedo started shrieking resounding refusals and cared little for anything I promised, waving his spear menacingly. But my contingency plan was to hand over my slider to them under warranty, at the risk of losing it forever. Ben's TIE was a long way off but water was more important than time.

I noticed Ben was approaching because the rest of the Teedos were grouped together with reserve behind my interlocutor. Perhaps my companion had decided it was his time to intervene, but his command of the language left much to be desired. Nevertheless, he managed to frighten them a bit and somehow ended up convincing them to hand over what was requested without a fight. I confess I found it strange, they paid no attention to anyone on Jakku, in fact they were quite feared despite their deceptive appearance. But Ben did something with his hands as he looked straight into their expressionless faces, muttering some words I didn't quite hear. One of the teedos detached a purse from his luggabeast and tossed it at my feet.

“How did you do that?” I asked helplessly. The teedos didn't move, they didn't speak to each other, they seemed spellbound by Ben's words.

“Gather the supplies, get in the speeder and turn it up.” He whispered quickly, not taking his eyes off the group. “I'll explain later.”

I did as he asked with a bad feeling, I wasn't used to resorting to deception of that kind because I didn't know how to pull it off. I might once have lied as part of some exchange strategy, but what he had just done was something completely different.

Ben climbed in behind me and we set off at high speed in the opposite direction, through Kelvin Ridge, to reach the spot where I had found him the day before.

“Whatever you've done, the teedos are going to find out soon! They may know what happens to other members of your tribe even without having been there.” I shouted over my shoulder.

“And what harm could they do to us? We'll be long gone by the time they realize we stole from them.” He replied, with impertinence and a total disregard for the laws of my planet. “Your speeder is ten times faster than their mounts.”

He was absolutely right, but I was still annoyed and could not explain why. We would easily have many hours head start before they found us.

“Every action results in a reaction, Mr. Know-it-all. The Teedos love _X'us'R'iia_ and they are going to get their revenge somehow.”

“I didn't think you were so superstitious, Rey. Maybe you could acknowledge that I saved your bacon this time. Now we are even.”

I restrained myself from answering him any more, biting my lips and gripping the handlebars rather tightly. I wasn't superstitious but I respected and feared sandstorms like everyone on Jakku. And what happened later proved to me that I was not so wrong.

But before we got to that part of the story, after traveling for almost three hours in stubborn silence, we found the TIE half buried in a sunken field. During the night the wind in that area had stirred up the sand, exposing it almost completely.

It looked majestic, even though its size was insignificant compared to an Imperial star destroyer like those seen on the horizon. Perhaps it was because it shared the mystery of its owner, both seemed to be one of a kind, stealthy and lethal. I had limited myself to the salvage the day before, so I didn't have time to contemplate their every detail. It was a real miracle that other scrap dealers hadn't already dismantled it, but I still had little hope of being able to repair it.

We decided to take a break to feed ourselves before starting, sheltering from the relentless radiation of the sun with a roof that we improvised with some blankets and some sticks tied to the speeder. That sort of tent would serve as a momentary relief while we made our truce so we could agree on a strategy. My anger had subsided quite a bit, I was excited to be of service and repair something as impressive as Ben's ship.

“I can show you. What I did with the teedos.” He said as I seriously examined the contents of our treasure trove for portions to hydrate.

“What do you mean?” I asked without stopping what I was doing, feigning disinterest because I didn't want to bring up that subject again.

“Mind trick.” Ben took the bag out of my hands and set it aside for my attention. “You could do it too if you wanted to. You'd be invincible.”

The man's ability to irritate me was impressive.

“I'm not interested.” I retrieved the bag and took out two packets which I emptied into containers of water. The dough began to take the shape of a loaf of bread and my stomach roared in reflex.

“Am I supposed to believe that you would turn down an offer like mine because you are too proud to accept help from others? Or are you just a coward?” he snapped and I knew I had reached the limit of my patience.

The words came out of my mouth without my being able to stop them.

“I could show you how wrong you are in many ways but I don't have time for this. You think you're superior because you belong to the First Order, because you've seen the entire galaxy and know its secrets. But let me tell you something, Ben. I may not know other planets but I have survived without anyone's help so far. Neither the New Republic nor the remnants of the Empire mean anything to me. Your superiority lies in that strange power you have, but what have you done to deserve it? Have you used it for more than saving your head?”

He listened to me attentively but did not disguise his arrogance, nor did he bother to wipe away the hateful smile that began to curve his lips and ended up turning into a burst of laughter that I found even more offensive.

“Wow, not three out of a hundred billion inhabitants of the galaxy would have answered like you just did.” He said when he finished laughing and his mood became somber again. “But I admit you're right. I have done many things of which I am not proud.”

I was used to the fickleness of his emotions. I was beginning to understand that his character was much more complex than he showed, and my curiosity was growing.

“I could have been a very different person, you know?” His gaze was lost in the plate I extended to him and he accepted it as a peace offering. My silence urged him to continue. “A long time ago I started down a twisted path that led me away from those good intentions you speak of. Reality was not kind to me, Rey.”

“Nor was it good to me.” I added helplessly. ”And yet my mind is at peace. Whatever you have done, you still have time to make amends. You can always repent.”

It was not my intention to torment him further, but my words seemed to wound him like the impact of an electric shock.

“You don't know me.”

His tone was somber and for some reason it frightened me much more than if he had vociferated. There was so much pain in his words that I didn't know what else to add. I certainly didn't know Ben but I wanted to help him, even though his soul was the hardest mechanism to repair and I had no idea how to do it. At times he seemed to trust me and then he would shut down tight. Who was I to tell him such things? Why did I care so much about the state of his soul?

We ate in silence for a few minutes but without lingering too long. In spite of the turbulent emotions we were experiencing, nothing could take away our constant state of alertness, and the sun was already beginning its downward journey. If we didn't get to work, we would have to camp there, and I didn't like the prospect at all.

I took a long drink of water and refilled my canteen, nothing to lose by gathering extra supplies in case my friend decided to betray me, leaving me at the mercy of marauders and Nightwatcher worm.

Ben made his way to the ship, climbed nimbly to the seat and pressed a few buttons on the console, but they were unresponsive. He tried to hit the dashboard, perhaps to evacuate some of the rage he felt and that I had probably encouraged with my absurd talk about morality. It was an effective punch anyway, the engines fired up for a few moments before shutting down completely.

As he tried to broadcast a distress message, I noticed the laser cannons and the rest of his war equipment. I had never seen technology like that before. I looked over my shoulder at Ben. What else wasn't he telling me? At that point I already suspected that he had a high rank in the First Order and he wouldn't bother to hide it. But I never imagined he could be someone so important.

The desert had decided to be kind to the TIE and hadn't buried it completely, but recovering it would take days. It didn't seem to have any damage other than some stray panels from the landing, but I could get some spares from the starship graveyard, probably from an Empire fighter. I was beginning to think we'd get it repaired.

“How are we supposed to get it out of the sand? The speeder is underpowered, but we could try.”I told him as soon as I could climb up the sloping surface of one of the sharp end flaps that functioned as a solar energy collector.

Ben didn't answer right away and I took the opportunity to poke around in the cockpit even though there wasn't much room for both of us.

“That won't be necessary. I'll do it.” He exclaimed confidently, without any emotion. “Come. I'll show you.”

He held out his hand to help me down and I accepted it because I was beginning to feel a little unsteady. The movement and extra weight was shifting the sandy ground, or I hoped it was just that.

We climbed down safely and then Ben stepped forward, stretching his hand toward the towering craft. The intense screeching of metal and bolts moving filled the air as the TIE lifted as if by magic. Sand trickled out of its openings like lethal rivers and I was completely fascinated with that display of power.

Ben wasn't making much of an effort or he was disguising it very well, because so much display didn't stop him from making sure of my engrossed gaze and smiling at me with some well-deserved haughtiness. At least I would grant him this victory, because I could only have imagined something like this in my wildest dreams.

But the joy was soon to end for us, for a subtle shift in the wind warned me that a fierce storm was approaching. It would have gone unnoticed by others, but not by me.

 _X'us'R'iia_ and I were old enemies.


	7. Sandstorm

At that moment I could only think of getting us to safety from _X'us'R'iia_ , postponing doubts for another time. Somehow Ben had sensed my concern, although judging by the look on his face he could not grasp the magnitude of our danger.

I knew it when his ship landed hard in the sand, my anxiety reflected in his eyes and the flow of his strange power was suddenly interrupted. He looked bewildered and annoyed, but I was not afraid to provoke his fury. Without saying it in words, he was holding me responsible for his failure.

“We must seek shelter! The storm will be here in a few minutes.” I approached towards where he was standing with the intention of dragging him to my slider but at the last second I stopped myself, I thought better of it. Or maybe it was the furious look he gave me.

“I'm not leaving without my ship, I was just about to take it out!” he replied with a snarl, again creating that dark aura in his features that I didn't quite understand.

“It takes a lot more than that to get her flying again and unless you have some other secret to discuss, I suggest you abandon the idea.”

The urgency in my voice made Ben react, I'm sure he would have wanted to tell me a few things, but he just nodded trusting my experience. I gathered our belongings at high speed and he seized the moment to reach inside his TIE for something. Before I could protest, we were boarding my speeder heading for the old Star Destroyer abandoned in the epic Battle of Jakku.

Along the way we covered our heads with our garments and goggles to keep the sand from hurting us, and I was surprised that he did it so deftly. I guessed he was used to getting out of more extreme situations than that.

“Is this really your grand plan?” Ben blurted out the reproach just as the squawking of the storm was getting louder and louder, creating swirls of sand that were coming up to our feet like ghostly claws.

But there was no time to lose and the truth is that I didn't owe him any explanations when I was trying to save him for the second time in less than two standard days.

It is true that he intended to seek shelter inside some ship. On Jakku there were no natural caverns and it was not the first time that _X'us'R'iia_ surprised me in the middle of nowhere. For that reason I knew that the TIE was lost and would soon be completely buried, because the whip of the wind would blow it away like a sheet of paper. I didn't want to tell Ben, I would find a way to deal with it later. Goodbye to the idea of flying in that magnificent ship.

Ben didn't seem like an overly sentimental person, though. The only thing he took among his belongings was the helmet I was already slightly familiar with and nothing else. Why was it so important to risk our lives for a piece of metal?

I was beginning to consider that his company had brought me many problems, many more than I already had. Only now did I know that I was never going to go back to what I had before, to that painful routine that I called life but was a race against death. Back then I thought Ben would be an anecdote soon enough.

“Can this junk go any faster?”

Ben was beginning to realize that my reaction had not been an exaggeration when the sky turned an unpleasant brown color and the wall of dust devoured everything in its path, rapidly shortening the distance between _X'us'R'iia_ and us.

“It's at full speed!” I shouted, letting a little of my fear show through. I began to get the idea that we might not make it safely.

Suddenly I couldn't see the road clearly and I had to call on my memory of years of doing the route daily. I felt Ben's hands clutching at my waist and the motor of the slider shaking beneath us. The storm was dragging debris from half-buried ships and making them flutter dangerously around us.

The heat was unbearable, suffocating. The cloud enveloped us helplessly, but my speeder steadily followed its course. I was trying to dodge the flying pieces of scrap metal and all was well as long as they were small parts. Suddenly something big projected in front, I couldn't see it but I knew it was there.

“Look out!”

Ben shouted as he loosened his grip and extended one of his hands forward, igniting his lightsaber as he held on with his legs to the glider. What appeared to be an old T-65 X-wing starfighter barely grazed the side of the slider without shaking it, split in half thanks to my escort's risky maneuver. I couldn't see it clearly but I'll never forget the heat, the screeching sound and the smell of molten durasteel.

“What the _kriff_ was that?” I shouted, turning a little so I could see what I had just done. But my words were swallowed up by the sand.

_«Focus on the road, Rey! You can do it. Use the Force. »_

He placed a hand on my shoulder and it sent a shiver through my body, even in the midst of a mythical storm that threatened to wipe us out.

The wind howled furiously but failed to drown out his words, in fact I could hear his voice as clearly as if we were casually talking in Niima's Outpost. It was very strange, as if he was communicating with me without taking his lips off. How did he do it?

“How was I supposed to...?”

_«Close your eyes. Trust me! »_

The man was crazy, who could think of raving like that at a time like that? Although the sand and dust of _X'us'R'iia_ was now so thick that I could see absolutely nothing, not even my hands on the handlebars of the slider. Closing my eyes wouldn't make a difference; we had nothing to lose now.

_«You can guide the energy of the storm to your advantage, close your eyes and feel how it surrounds you. Only you know the way. Breathe.»_

It was devastating and pleasing, to feel everything fading away and coming back into being at my will. My hands still clung tightly to the speeder but there was no longer that resistance as I moved forward. The storm did not seem to abate, but somehow a tunnel opened up before us and towards the end the relentless blue sky of Jakku awaited us. I couldn't see anything, at least not with my eyes, but I could feel it as if my eyes were open. The torture of sound inside my head suddenly ceased and in its place spread a pleasant melody, almost like a lullaby.

For an instant I imagined I could bend _X'us'R'iia_ and let myself be seized by the power. But doubts clouded my vision, why was all this happening, why now, who was I really and why was I able to do all this thanks to Ben?

I felt powerful, invincible, but I was also very scared and the memory of a ship flying through the sky filled me with a melancholy so deep I could hardly breathe. Someone important was leaving on that ship. Someone was leaving me behind and there was nothing I could do about it.

Ben didn't convey any other thoughts, but I could tell he was as shocked as I was. How was it possible that I was sensing his every emotion so clearly? Could he do the same for me?

 _Rage_. My body filled with anguish at the memory and the feeling spread like electricity.

“That's enough!” he exclaimed in horror and I opened my eyes.

It was a mistake.

The mass of sand closed in front of us again and by sheer luck I managed to dodge the impact of another piece of junk. I lost all confidence in what I was doing, though not the determination to get out of the mess alive. The silhouette of the Star Destroyer to our right was getting bigger and sharper despite the sand and dust. There was only one more stretch to go.

With a last-second turn that nearly threw us both into the air, we entered the abandoned Destroyer by one of its rear thrusters. But we still had to go deeper into the colossal ship to get to safety.

A little more relieved, without the deadly presence of the storm, we both relaxed and I gradually slowed the speeder. There was no question of escaping one danger and getting into a worse one, so I had to find a safe place among the wires, panels and protrusions of the ship, which was not shaking from the storm but worried us with eerie noises of things crashing into each other.

In that place time seemed frozen, but outside everything was still going on. Ben's distress signal would reach the destination soon enough, but first we would have to talk and survive our own demons.


	8. Shelter

“That was... it didn't go the way I expected.”

Ben, who had removed his makeshift turban, let out a long sigh, a mixture of relief and surprise. He looked at me with something akin to respect and leaned back, crossing his arms at chest level.

 _«Nor me.»_ I thought. But it wasn't time for conversation yet, someone might overhear us.

I took off my mask to get a better look, adjusting my eyes to the darkness as I had lost my infrared visor somewhere along the way.

“You are more powerful than I thought, but you must learn to focus.” he continued. “You could do great things if you would just stop....”

“Over there.” I interrupted him to point to a section of the ship I knew like the back of my hand, a sort of protected room reached after climbing a small ladder. “It's not safe here. There may be other scavengers. The danger is not over.”

“Is there never any peace on this damned planet?” he sighed in a dramatic way that would have struck me as funny if the circumstances had been different.

“That's a bit cynical of you, don't you think?” I couldn't help but respond, but against all odds, Ben burst out laughing.

It was so strange sounding in a place like that, amplified by space and solitude, that it seemed unreal to me. I could get used to it, though.

“I think it's time you and I put hostilities aside. I intend to return to my ship and it will be quicker if we work together.”

“I don't consider you my enemy, Ben. But from now on you must step where I step. I won't risk anything happening to you.”

“I don't need a bodyguard. I can take care of myself just fine, _in case you hadn't noticed_ a while ago.”

I would accept his truce. Although I was already regretting having to deal with someone so haughty. He would hide his weaknesses very well, he was an expert. But I saw through his eyes a reflection of my own self. Being strong had helped me, but cunning was what allowed me to survive.

“Of course I did.” I replied, turning my face towards him. “But _in case you haven't noticed_ , the supply bag is in my possession and if we ever lose it, it's all over.”

I was worried about him, though I didn't underestimate him. I was just trying to keep control of the situation because it made me feel safer. And Ben was accepting at times that he depended on my expertise because it was obvious he needed me for something else, something I hoped to find out soon.

I stopped the speeder and hid it behind a cabinet. It was in such a dilapidated state that it fit in perfectly with the rest of the ship. I figured I would have to look for some spare parts but I was in the right place. The main thing now was to seek protection and privacy, or at least a place to spend the night.

Our temporary quarters were some kind of office in Empire times, because there I had found many datapads and other items that were of no value to Unkar but were fascinating to me. If everything went on as it had last time, we could hide there from possible marauders and hold out for the duration of the storm.

I loaded all our remaining supplies into a bag and tossed it to Ben. It wasn't too heavy but I needed to tease him somehow for looking at me in that weird way that confused me. He accepted it grimacing, though I felt a little guilty because I noticed he barely had the strength to stand. The accident first and the trip afterwards had exhausted him.

In addition to the _theedos_ bag, I carried my own backpack with various items and my tool belt. With some ingenuity I could improvise some blankets and some camp stove. Having something warm in the evening seemed appropriate as the temperature would drop drastically soon enough.

Perhaps _X'us'R'iia_ no longer posed a threat but being left alone with him and his changing temperament filled me with anxiety. Food and water would be no problem, but I had to be careful with my tongue to get him to trust me enough to tell me more.

Once I reached the top rung, I climbed up and carefully examined the surroundings. From that high place we were out of reach of intruders because we would hear them coming, but our escape was a big disadvantage. Luckily one of the cables I was using as a rope to climb down was coiled close by and I went over to check its stability while Ben laboriously finished climbing.

“How long will this storm last?” He complained as he dropped against one of the walls.

“Last time it was seven days.”

“Seven...? We don't have that much time. At least the supplies will be enough if we ration them.”

We entered the chamber which was a bit larger than my AT-AT though less cluttered with items. It wasn't too cozy but it would do and was fairly clean.

Ben didn't say too much after the above but busied himself going through the contents of the drawers without too much success. He then turned his gaze to the ceiling through the air vent and approached one of the empty walls, resting a hand on the surface.

“Someone was here, but I'll make sure we're not disturbed. We'll stand guard to sleep.” I said, hoping to sound confident.

“Somehow it feels like home.” he mumbled, but I pretended I hadn't heard him. “How will we know it's safe to leave?”

But what worried him most was what we were going to do in the meantime. I didn't know him at all but impatience was one of his most noticeable traits, just like the twitch under his left eye that he had at the moment.

“In the morning I'll go over to the entrance. I must check the speeder and fix it.”

“You'll leave me in this dump.”

“No way, Ben. I didn't rescue you to leave you here to die. You're hurt, I don't quite know how, but you haven't fully regained your strength yet.”

His laugh now was bitter and sounded like a growl.

“You will keep me alive until I answer your questions. I can hear your doubts even if you don't speak.”

As he spoke, he was rapping the _durasteel_ with his knuckles until he was stopped by a hollow sound. A door opened and behind it appeared a built-in bunk bed, at least it looked like a place to rest and curiously the blankets had retained a perfect condition after more than thirty years.

“How did you do that? Forget it; you know more about these things than I do.” I would remember the trick for another raid.

“I researched the plans for the Destroyers and this must have been some lieutenant's quarters.” Ben settled down on the bed but gave up at once, banging his head “A pretty small one.”

“The blankets will do. It's going to be very cold soon.”

“I can think of another _more pleasant_ way to warm up.”

I confess I didn't immediately understand what he meant but his expression gave me a clue. I was serious and he had the nerve of trying to seduce me. But just as I was about to fiercely reply that no way was _that_ going to happen, a noise caught our attention not far away.

Carefully, we peeked out of our shelter to check that we were completely alone. Ben gently pushed me to the side, perhaps it was his protective instinct, but I found myself surrounded by him and unable to stop thinking about his suggestion that we sleep together.

“The proposal still stands.”

Apparently my first lesson, if I agreed to be his apprentice, would be to hide my thoughts better because he seemed to see into my mind too clearly.

But I had other skills to protect myself, even if I trusted Ben not to hurt me. He wasn't the first to hint at something like that.

I gave him a nudge that he thought was funny, but he got the message. He held up his hands in a peace offering, perhaps because he could tell I wasn't that nasty to him. If he could see into my mind, I could too.

That's how I discovered that he didn't consider himself attractive, that no one had ever told him that his eyes were hypnotic because he hid them behind a mask, and that no one had cared for him since he was a child.

I couldn't glimpse anything else. Ben raised his barriers violently, turning back into that being that was receding with every step I took towards him.

“You have no right to do that.” he said with a broken voice, evidently hurt. “My mind is not at your disposal.”

“And mine is?” I replied, with some bravery at the discovery.

I braced myself for a new burst of fury that did not come. Ben added nothing more and lay back on the floor wearily.

“What are we going to do now? I don't suppose you have a deck of Sabacc cards in that bag.”

“Get some rest. I'll take the first watch and then we'll have something to eat.”

I left him alone with his thoughts and he didn't protest because his eyes were already closed as soon as I turned my back on him. I was pleased that despite everything, a part of him trusted me.

Later it would be time to talk, so I prepared a mental list of things I wanted to know, hoping Ben would remain accessible for the duration of our truce.


End file.
